Some nations do things better than others. The Swiss make the best watches and army knives, the Belgians make the best chocolate, the Japanese make the best robotics, and the Colombians grow the best coffee. But when it comes to culture things get weird. Take Germany for instance. While they have their own celebrities, one of ours is more popular there than here. His name is David Hasselhoff and in Germany he's a famous singer. Here's an official music video that makes full use of mid-90's shopping mall technology and the "Mad-Lib" style story-boarding:
This is, in a word, batshit insane.
But for true, mind-numbing insanity, we have to go to Japan. It is with great reluctance that I subject you to: Pon Pon -
That video somehow managed to hit a point of diminishing returns on craziness.
And this final video isn't crazy in the traditional sense. It asks the question, "What does English sound like to someone who doesn't speak English?" The answer is apparently quite catchy. Here's Prisencolinensinainciusol.
I work in a super market, and since it's December, all the annoying Top 40 muzac has been replaced with Christmas music. And it needs to stop. Ignoring the fact that most Christmas music is just the same ten songs "re-imagined" by a million different artists, the songs are particularly infuriating. Answer me this: Why don't we listen to Christmas music in June or August or anytime that's not near Christmas? Because it's fucking awful!
And it wouldn't be so bad if radio stations/stores/everyone just threw in the occasional Christmas song to the standard mix, but they feel that they have to play Christmas music EXCLUSIVELY! And I say enough is enough. We need to stop catering to the 1% of people who actively enjoy Christmas music so much that the idea of not hearing it all fucking day is intolerable. We need to cast off our shackles, stand proud, and say, "I don't care about Rudolph, or Frosty, or Jingle Bells. I don't care who Santa's watching, or who's watching Santa kissing their mom. I am the 99%, and I am sick of Christmas music."
